My Impossible Goal

2nd Nov - 273.4lbs 12th Nov - 268.8lbs 13th Nov - 268.0lbs  14th Nov - 268.0lbs  18th Nov - 268.2lbs  20th Nov - 266.0lbs  27th Nov - 265.2lbs (new lowest weight - 33lbs down from heaviest weight) 🥳🥳💪🏼💪🏼 Just putting these stats here as I'm getting close to hitting them and I feel like the incentive of seeing them every time I update my stats will be helpful!  - 6th July 2024 - 265.8lbs (32.2lbs down) new lowest weight  ✅️ - Fell pregnant with Elliott 2018: 120kg/264lbs This past week has been a true reflection of life is always 50/50. There have been some real wins - and some really tricky moments.... plus some 'life happens' moments.  On Friday evening, I got back on my fitness class journey! I went to Zumba for the first time in probably 5 years....!! And getting out of the house on a rainy Friday evening was a challenge in itself - before I even got to the gym.  I used to go to gym classes really regularly and just totally got out of the...

2nd Nov - 273.4lbs  7th Nov - 271.0lbs 8th Nov - 270.6lbs  9th Nov - 270.6lbs (Sat) 10th Nov - 270.4lbs (Sun)  11th Nov - 269.8lbs 12th Nov - 268.8lbs I'm so pleased with the last 10 days progress! 4.6lbs in 10 days - I will take that! I know some of it will have been period weight but I finished my period on Friday and to have continued to lose weight over the weekend and into this week.... I'm so happy with that.  Weekends are always harder to manage food for me. There is less structure to the day so much easier to find myself eating for no reason - and much more temptation too.... do the food shop, buy a few snacks that take my fancy..... take the boys to their swimming lessons, buy a Costa coffee..... pop into town for a few bits and bobs, end up in a cafe because the boys want a snack.  I also find it trickier to stick to my eating window. We often all have breakfast together as a family so I usually open my window much earlier than I would during a weekday...

2nd Nov - 273.4lbs  7th Nov - 271.0lbs I've done 3 full days on a proper eating window this week. I've managed to get through to my lunch break at work before opening my window which is around 12:45pm and at the moment I'm giving myself a 7 hour window which allows me to work dinner around the boys and I've been closing my window at 7:45/8pm.  I've been focusing on that and also cutting sugar back down as much as possible - making some better choices around what I'm eating and also paying attention to the intention behind the eating - am I really hungry? Am I bored? Am I avoiding doing something else? I've been trying to really check in with myself and my urges over the last couple of days - just being curious and placing attention on the weightloss again.  A lot of the change in the number on the scale could be down to my period as I'm currently on so it may not be real weight loss but I feel like the changes I've made since Tuesday are getting me r...

My perfectionist brain loves the idea of an impossible goal!  It holds absolutely no weight - I can't achieve it because it impossible.... so if I never get there, I haven't ever really failed.  It allows me to reach big - crazy big - but never feel the pressure of failing at it!  My Impossible Goal is to lose 100lbs from my highest weight. It feels ridiculous to say it - and that's why it's brilliant. If I lose 100lbs amazing.... if I don't get there.... it was impossible anyway. As a perfectionist-this helps with fear of failure and anxiety from the pressure of wanting to succeed.  I've also coming up with a list of other milestones it would be so great to get back to along the road to the impossible goal....  Heaviest pregnancy weight: 128kg/281.6lbs ✅️ Fell pregnant with Rory: 124kg/272.8lbs ✅️ Fell pregnant with Elliott: 120kg/264lbs ✅️ Breastfeeding Elliott: 117kg/257lbs  Wedding weight: 107kg/235.4lbs Trying on wedding dresses: 102kg/224.4lbs Book d...

From February 2024 to June 2024 my weight loss completely stopped. It took me around a month to lose 1lb.  I kept pushing, I kept doing the work and kept logging everything that was going on with my body - including lots of symptoms with my period... which were getting stranger and stranger. I was going back and forth to the doctor during this time. Lots of phone calls and adding symptoms to the list (my GP was brilliant through all of it) and eventually ended up going for an ultrasound and a fill blood work up.  For a while, I had convinced myself that I had cervical cancer as I had so many of the symptoms that line up with that diagnosis but when my blood work came back it was glaringly obvious what I was dealing with.  My T4 level (a hormone produced by the thyroid) was on the floor. Almost non-existent in my system - meaning that I have hypothyroidism.  It's a life long condition - one that I will take medication for, for the rest of my life. That alone was a hug...

Meeting Susan changed everything....  Susan is a coach. She is probably the most compassionate person I have ever met in my life. From the moment I met her, I felt safe and supported and I could tell that she genuinely wanted me to succeed in my weight loss goals.  We had weekly zoom sessions for almost an entire year; and in that time we discovered so much about my eating habits, my chronic perfectionism, my all or nothing mindset, my absolute fear of failure and judgement from those around me when I deemed myself to have failed.  I went from having a very negative self dialogue to relearning how to love myself now - even at a size that I didn't want to be. To love myself through the process and go into every day with curiosity and compassion and no judgement. That was so difficult at the beginning - I found it so hard not to tell myself off and criticise what I saw in the mirror. But week by week - I learned that it felt better to show myself grace and compassion whilst...

So, I guess I'm starting this blog as an online journal for my journey with weight loss - that's the nutshell. The whole story is a lot longer than that. I'll try not to ramble too much.  I have struggled with my self image for as long as I can remember. Even when I was much smaller than I am now - I thought I needed to lose weight.  Over the years, I'd tried ALL the programmes and has some success and then as I soon as I stopped the programme, or lost interest, or it got too hard - I put the weight back on.  I lost a large amount of weight in the run up to my wedding and felt amazing that day - even though I would have actually like to have been even thinner in all honestly.  I've had 2 babies since 2019 and my weight has been very up and down since then. I lost a lot of weight breastfeeding and then gained a lot back in my second pregnancy.  Then my eldest ended up in hospital and I spent 10 days sitting by his bed whilst he was very very poorly and just ate, ...

14th October 2023 - 298.2lbs (heaviest weight)  8th March 2024 - 267.6lbs  8th June - 266.2lbs  29th June - hypothyroidism diagnosis  2nd July - STARTED THYROXINE 100mcg  2nd July - 271.6lbs  3rd july - 268.4lbs 4th July - 267.6lbs  5th July - 266.2lbs  6th July - 265.8lbs (32.2lbs down) new lowest weight 12th August - 271.0lbs (before Center Parcs)  29th August - 273.6lbs (off plan since center parcs/Martin's 40th)  3rd September - 277.2lbs  6th Sept - 275.4lbs  9th Sept - 276.0lbs  10th Sept - 275.4lbs  15th Sept - 274.6lbs  16th Sept - 274.0lbs  17th Sept - 273.8lbs  23rd Sept - 273.6lbs  5th Oct - 272.0lbs  6th Oct - 270.4lbs  18th Oct - 269.8lbs  2nd Nov - 273.4lbs  7th Nov - 271.0lbs 8th Nov - 270.6lbs  9th Nov - 270.6lbs  10th Nov - 270.4lbs  11th Nov - 269.8lbs  12th Nov - 268.8lbs  13th Nov - 268.0lbs  14th Nov - 268.0lbs  18th Nov - 2...

 22nd September - 293.6lbs  29th September - 292.8lbs  14th October - 298.2lbs  16th October - 296.0lbs  Week 1  17th October - 294.8lbs  18th October - 292.0lbs  19th October - 291.8lbs  20th October - 291.0lbs  21st October - 290.4lbs  22nd October - 290.2lbs  23rd October - 290.8lbs (-4lbs) (-7.4lbs)  Week 2  24th October - 290.4lbs  25th October - 289.2lbs  26th October - 289.2lbs  27th October - 291.2lbs 28th October - 290.4lbs  29th October - 289.9lbs  30th October - 289.0lbs (-1.4lbs)  Week 3  31st October - 289.6lbs  1st November - 289.2lbs  2nd November - 288.8lbs  3rd November - 287.4lbs  4th November - 288.2lbs  5th November - 288.0lbs  6th Novemeber - 287.6lbs (-2lbs) (-10.6lbs)  Week 4  7th November - 285.8lbs  8th November - 282.6lbs (barely eaten for 2 days - unlikely this is an accurate number)  9th Novmeber - 282.6lbs...