27/11/24

2nd Nov - 273.4lbs

12th Nov - 268.8lbs

13th Nov - 268.0lbs 

14th Nov - 268.0lbs 

18th Nov - 268.2lbs 

20th Nov - 266.0lbs 

27th Nov - 265.2lbs (new lowest weight - 33lbs down from heaviest weight) 🥳🥳💪🏼💪🏼

Just putting these stats here as I'm getting close to hitting them and I feel like the incentive of seeing them every time I update my stats will be helpful! 

- 6th July 2024 - 265.8lbs (32.2lbs down) new lowest weight ✅️

- Fell pregnant with Elliott 2018: 120kg/264lbs

This past week has been a true reflection of life is always 50/50. There have been some real wins - and some really tricky moments.... plus some 'life happens' moments. 

On Friday evening, I got back on my fitness class journey! I went to Zumba for the first time in probably 5 years....!! And getting out of the house on a rainy Friday evening was a challenge in itself - before I even got to the gym. 

I used to go to gym classes really regularly and just totally got out of the habit when I was pregnant with Elliott and then covid... and then I just haven't ever gone back. Financially, a gym membership wasn't an option for a very long time either - but since returning to school, I am in a position where I can afford a membership that allows me access to all the fitness classes. I do much better attending a class than just heading to the gym - I like having an instructor there at the front of the class telling me what to do and showing the moves to follow. 

While I love gym classes, they are also a tricky place for me to be, especially a brand new gym class - they can actually hold a lot of anxiety and trigger a lot perfectionist panic in me. I struggle being the new person in a room - and immediately think that everyone is looking at me and judging. I almost instantly start comparing myself to everyone in the room and even on Friday, the voices started piping up 'you're the biggest one in the room', 'everyone else is fitter that you', 'you don't know what you're doing'. I was really nervous going into it but I bumped into a woman from work as soon as I got to the class and she gave me the biggest hug which was so lovely and then another lady from work arrived so it felt like I had some friendly faces to chat to. 

Once the class got going - it sort of all came back to me and even though the routines were all new, the moves, the counts, the way the routines were built together; it all felt really familiar. And this is where the perfectionist panic kicks in - not being able to get the routines right the first time. 

Rationally - it's ridiculous to think that I will be able to complete 50 minutes of dance routines perfectly, having never seen them before - but that is the expectation I hold for myself. I had a little chat with myself about it on the drive in, acknowledging that I was probably going to make mistakes and that it was going to be fine - that other people in the class would also make mistakes and that trying to be perfect for basically a whole hour in a brand new environment was probably completely unachievable. I acknowledged it all and then gave myself grace with all those expectations and then tried my best to let them go. 

Ultimately, the class was great. It was really hard work, physically and mentally. But I came away really happy that I'd gone, I'm already booked onto the next class. I made mistakes, there were routines that were so fast but I finished every routine, I gave it my best and wasn't frustrated by the things I got wrong. 

This also rang true for my Body Pump class on Sunday - which was amazing. I'd forgotten how strong and powerful I feel during a weight lifting class and it was awesome. I cannot wait for the next session. 

I was then really poorly on Monday and Tuesday - to the point where I had to take a day off work and sleep all day. I ordered a pity party delivery from co-op..... which was basically their bakery section delivered to my door. Lots of chocolate and croissants and brownies.... all the sugary, stodgy sweet treats that make me feel better..... that when you actually eat them aren't nearly as satisfying as you think they will be when you order them!! 

I had a bit a binge and a pity party for the afternoon but probably didnt eat as much as would have in the past because I was still thinking about what I was eating whilst I caved to the comfort urges.... and I was really aware that I wasn't really enjoying the treats as much as I thought I would. From being really low sugar for so long now to going to full sugary binge - it was a lot and was actually too sugary/too chocoaltey for me to enjoy. 

And even after my binge day - I hit a new lowest weight! Which was amazing. I had to get on and off the scale 3 times to make sure it was right. 

I feel like my momentum is just going in the right direction st the moment. Even when there are hard moments - in general, the consistency of my choices is paying off and I'm working new things into my routine that will only quicken my progress in the long run! I just really feel so positive and secure in the tools I have, that even when life gets tough, I get sick, or the boys do, or I have a binge/go off plan - I'm able to get back on track really quickly and not get caught up in the 'bad' choices of the moment. 

I can't wait to see what the next week or so brings!